The One About Birthing. Part I.

I imagined it would be easy to write this post, after-all, how hard is it to describe labor and delivery? Well, apparently harder than I expected. The experience is so completely emotional, physical and spiritual that mere words hardly begin to do it justice. For the sake of getting it out there, I will start out at the beginning. (Note: More than likely I will skip around with past and present tense...sooo get over it. Creative license.)

Picture it... Columbia. 4:00 am on Friday, January 18. Four days shy of my due date. I woke from sleep with a pain that can honestly be described as premenstrual cramps. Except that I was pregnant and by the grace of God hadn't had any of those cramps in 9 months (one of the upsides to pregnancy). I laid there for 30 minutes, timing the contractions, they ranged 5-6 minutes apart  but did not come at regular intervals or last for more than a minute each. I woke Joseph up to let him know that I was contracting and that these were not like the Braxton-Hicks contractions I had been having for weeks prior...these added an additional punch. I told him to sleep and I went to wake my mom (she had come for the weekend to help out since I was still on bed rest). We stayed up, I ate breakfast and took a shower making sure to shave my legs because who wants to push a baby out with prickly legs? Not this girl.

The contractions came in waves and I breathed through them. Closing my eyes and not-so-gently letting Joseph and my mom know to not talk to me during these waves. Around 11:00 the contractions had steadily made it to 4-5 minutes apart and lasted more than a minute so we headed to Lexington Medical Center.

They took me back to a room where they hooked my cute, oh-so glorious tummy to a monitor and watched for the contractions. At this point I had made it to 4 centimeters and was feeling great. After about an hour they decided to admit me to the hospital. I was officially going to pop this baby out.

We moved into a spacious birthing room and this is where the trauma started. An IV. If any of you know me well, you know my fear of needles. Not blood or gore. Needles. In the form of a shot or an IV. Since I was Beta Strep positive I had to be hooked up to antibiotics to ensure that Gwen wouldn't be harmed during delivery. So, Funny Nurse comes to hook me up and I gently tell her that I have belonephobia (yes...it is a legit fear). She laughs and mentions one of the midwives that has it as well. 

I did not laugh.

Funny Nurse starts the IV (after giving me a shot of a numbing medicine? Seriously...what is the point...either way I am getting stuck)...and I begin to have tunnel vision. Joseph and Mom are in the room and people are talking to me. I am super hot and feel like I am out of my body. People are talking to me but I don't understand them and I attempt to let them know that I am not doing well. (My mom later said that it came out in a terrible slur). Funny Nurse was no longer funny, she was rather the bane of my existence. With the IV in, I began to recover.

Honestly, my first thought after surviving the IV was, "Labor is going to be a breeze after this". Little did I know...

38 weeks

First: Go guess Gwen's birthday, weight and length! 

Click Here!

Who ever has the lowest score wins. Wins what you ask? Love and maybe a beer.

Only two weeks remaining (give or take). After my maternity photography session with the wonderful Christy Gantt of Studio 9 Photography, I really haven't taken many photos of myself.

There was the obligatory beach photo session that I had with my mom, but when you are born and raised on the coast, with salt water in your veins it is a must-do.

At my 37 week appointment, my blood pressure was something stupid like 170/101, they had me lay down and it went down to a more appropriate measurement. Over the next few days, with headaches and not being able to regulate my BP on my own, I went to the hospital where they ran blood work and other tests (including hooking me up to a fetal monitor where I got to hear my little girl have the hiccups twice in the two hours I was there...it was quite funny and hard not to laugh at her).

That's when it happened. I was sentenced to full bed rest. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Just get on your left side and stay there. At first it was hard, I didn't really understand what bed rest meant. I mean, I might have taken a trip to Lowe's after my appointment to get tile for our backsplash. I continued to dilly dally around the house, loading the dishwasher and what not, always checking my BP and making sure to lie down whenever it got in the scary diastolic 100 range.

But then I was reprimanded by many people including my husband and mother (and later the midwife). So now I spend my days on my side watching documentaries that I would never have watched on Netflix. Catching up on TV shows that have passed me by in the two years since I haven't had cable and I can honestly say that cable TV is overrated. With a million and one things to do, I am lucky to have my husband to cook and take care of my, my mom to drive 2 hours to take my laundry to the laundry-mat because our washing machine is on the fritz and a plethora of other people that have sent food and love my way.

How far along?  38 weeks

Total weight gain/loss? Let's see....I gained 25 pounds but then lost 6 due to being on bed rest so a total of 19 pounds!

Maternity clothes?  Kind of? I am mostly lounging around in sweatpants and Joseph's t-shirts nowadays.

Stretch marks?I am glad to say that I still have yet to get a stretch mark due to the fact that I am so tall and I am not "showing" as much. The ultrasound tech was surprised when she knew how far along I was because my tummy is "small".

Sleep?  It is what it is. I wake up 5-6 times a night to pee. Sometimes I wake up for an hour or so only to go back to bed and sleep until an ungodly hour (11 am anyone?)

Best moment last week? Definitely my mom coming up to help with all of the chores and getting Gwen's room ready. Don't know what I would do without her. Another highlight are Gwen's hiccups. They make me laugh because I can only imagine how frustrated I would be if I had them!

Movement?  She is a mover and a shaker. Joseph has gotten to see her make waves in my tummy and it really is one of the most unworldly things. 

 Food cravings? None. I just want bad food. Cheeseburgers mainly. Mmmm.

Gender? She is still a she and forever a she shall she be.

Labor signs? Zero. Just some Braxton-Hicks. When I went to my OB appointment on Tuesday they checked my cervix to see if there was any dilation or thinning....zero. But I will tell you one thing: IT HURTS! I thought it was going to be a breeze but that woman almost killed me.

Belly button in/out? Innie...at least for now. I think that it wants to stick out....but I am hoping it decides to stay in!

What I miss: Doing laundry....not! I do miss being able to do housework because everything that I usually do is put off on Joseph and he has a million and one things to do.

What I am looking forward to: Gwendolyn's arrival! I am ready to start my life with her in it.

Funny Story:  Well...it is really an inappropriate story that I will not write here because it involves my cervix check, a comment about short fingers and a member of my husband's anatomy. The nurse got a good kick out of it though. 

Eventually I will get photos of the nursery up. It will probably be after Gwen gets here but I am not one of those go get-em types.

35 weeks and counting

It is hard to write about my joy in the midst of the sorrow that a nation has felt since Friday. I place my hand on my stomach and wish that Gwendolyn would be born into a peaceful world where all children were safe and their greatest worry was what kind of mudpie they would make that day. But since the beginning of mankind, there has been this thing called sin and this thing called choice. And we make the choice to sin and that sin can devastate people's lives whether it is by telling a lie or murdering innocent people. 

So, 35 weeks. I am at the point where my sister-in-law was at when she was induced with Jackson due to high blood pressure. If I were her, Gwendolyn would make her grande entrance tomorrow. I have a scheduled ultrasound tomorrow because I am measuring a little small. At 34 weeks, I was only measuring 32 weeks, so tomorrow is to make sure that Gwen is growing well and that I have plenty of amniotic fluid. My best guess is that Gwendolyn has decided to take up residence more in the inside of my body than on the outside, which would explain the small measurement. Either way, I get to see my little girl tomorrow and that excites me!

In other news, Joseph and I had our maternity photos taken last week. We met with Christy Gantt of Studio 9 photography located near Sumter, SC. We met at a beautiful red barn near sundown to capture some pics before moving on to a Christmas tree farm. Christy was fun to work with and made our photo shoot relaxed and easy by letting us improvise but also gently directing us.

How far along?  35 weeks

Total weight gain/loss?  18 pounds! So we will see my grand total of weight gain during tomorrow's appointment.

Maternity clothes?  What else is there?

Stretch marks? None yet...but I am sure they are coming and I heard that sometimes they occur overnight.

Sleep?  Sleep has been better as I have gotten the acid reflux under control. Though I find myself waking up 4-5 times a night to pee or just to toss and turn.

Best moment last week? Just watching Gwen roll around in my belly. Sometimes it feels like she is sliding into home plate. She goes from one side of my tummy to the other like a flash of lightening! Joseph and I also worked on the nursery and it is coming along quite well.

Movement?  She is always moving around and has been having the cutest hiccups!  At first I thought it was just an intense heartbeat but then I realized what it was and I melted!

 Food cravings? None. Sometimes eggrolls.

Gender? She is still a she and forever a she shall she be.

Labor signs? Maybe? I am new to the pregnancy thing. Someitmes it feels as if my uterus gets tight but there is no pain associated with it, so maybe it is a Braxton-Hicks? Who knows...

Belly button in/out? Completely in. Though I can roll it out a little and it looks like an outie! I am hoping it stays an innie though...outies freak me out.

What I miss: Seeing my toes.

What I am looking forward to: Gwendolyn's arrival! I am ready to start my life with her in it.

Funny Story:  I had my first "sneeze and pee" session. That was interesting. 

31 Weeks

When it comes to pregnancy, all I can say is people lied. See chart below:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

Expectation	Reality
Midnight milkshake cravings	Midnight pee runs
Hating my body	Loving my new bump
Severe Acid Reflux	Yeah…they didn’t lie about that
Amazing cravings: fast food, ice cream, chocolate	No cravings except the occasional gummy bear
Crazy stretch marks	No new stretch marks (forthcoming maybe?)
Waddling like a duck	Still walking like a normal person
Glowing skin	Acne popping up in the weirdest places
Fear of birth process	Calm, knowing that my body is made for this purpose
Swollen feet	Yeah…that is true.
Random people touching my belly	Not one person has yet to touch my belly without asking.
Looking like a blimp by 5 months	People could barely tell I was pregnant

For some reason, I think I have been one of the lucky pregnant women who have been blessed with a fairly easy pregnancy. While there have been a few bumps in the road (failing my first glucose test and having to take the 3-hour glucose test that I swear almost killed me...no worries though I passed and a minor heart mishap that was due to stress), my journey has been smooth sailing.

Gwendolyn has been growing and moving, I have a husband who is supportive and extremely involved in the preparing process (and in dealing with my extremely emotional, tired self). I honestly thought I would complain a lot more. 

How far along?  31 weeks! (Almost 8 months!)

Total weight gain/loss?  11 pounds! I am very proud of how much I have gained. I am right on target for not gaining too much or too little.

Maternity clothes?  Yes, on the reg.

Stretch marks? None! (Well besides the ones I already had)

Sleep?  Lately sleep has been iffy. Acid reflux has taken it's toll on my sleeping habits, waking me up in the middle of the night. I havestarted propping myself up on three pillows which isn't too comfortable but any sleep is better than no sleep.

Best moment last week? Our baby shower in Conway and at my work! It never ceases to amaze me how much people love us. I am so grateful for my mom, sister and sister-in-love for all they did for the shower in Conway and for my co-workers for raising $145 for us!

Movement?  Constantly and I love it! (Except when she sticks her hand/foot in my rib or decides to karate chop my bladder). I have noticed peak times when she is active and I freak out if she doesn't move during those times. I love how she responds if I press on my belly or tap on it.

 Food cravings?  As long as I stay away from Pinterest I usually don't have intense cravings. While Pinterest is a bride's ebest friend it is a pregnant woman's enemy! All the amazing food! I bought my sister a 3-pound bag of gummy bears as a thank you gift for helping with the shower and since then I have wanted gummy bears.

Gender? She is still a she and forever a she shall she be.

Labor signs? Not that I am aware of. I am new to the pregnancy thing. Someitmes it feels as if my uterus gets tight but there is no pain associated with it, so maybe it is a Braxton-Hicks? Who knows...

Belly button in/out? Completely in. I don't think it will ever pop out! Though, isn't that how you tell when a baby is done cooking? Your belly-button timer pops out?

What I miss: I miss gin and tonic. People are going to think I'm an alcoholic. I miss medium-rare steak.

What I am looking forward to: My maternity photos with Studio 9 Photography! I am looking to do some Christmasy photos (as well as regluar ones) If you have any ideas, let me know!

Funny Story: So last night I woke up and noticed that my legs were wet. My first thought: "I peed the bed!" Second thought: "My water broke!" Then I realized I was just really hot and sweaty.

Letter to Saint Peter

On Veteran's Day, I want to share with you a song that has been one of my favorites. Many of you know about the obsession love I have for Edwin McCain. The song, "Prayer to Saint Peter" is off of his Messenger album.

Little did I know, that this song was actually a poem written by Elma Dean in 1942. From Oakland, California, Elma realized that the war (WWII) was not going well for the US and the poem was written to convey her sorrow for the young men who were being killed, including some of her son's dearest friends.

The poem was originally converted to a song by John Gorka and then covered by Edwin.

On this Veteran's Day, let us remember to thank those Veterans whose eyes may not shine as bright as they once did, clouded by the haze of shrapnel and visions that we can never imagine. The one's in wheelchairs and hospital beds. The one's that wear the "Vietnam" hat and quietly walk by you. The one's that just returned home and have yet to learn what the aftermath of being a combat soldier is. Let us also remember those who gave their lives.

Let them in, Peter
For they are very tired
Give them couches where the angels sleep
And light those fires
Let them wake whole again
To brand new dawns
Fired by the sun
Not war-times bloody guns
May their peace be deep
Remember where the broken bodies lie
God knows how young they were
To have to die

You know God knows how young they were
To have to die

Give them things they like
Let them make some noise
Give dance hall bands not golden harps
To these our boys
Let them love Peter
For they've had no time
They should have bird songs and trees
And hills to climb
The taste of summer
And a ripened pear
And girls as sweet as meadow wind
And flowing hair
And tell them how they are missed
But say not to fear
It's gonna be all right
With us down here

Let them in, Peter
For they are very tired
Give them couches where the angels sleep
And light those fires
Let them wake whole again
To brand new dawns
Fired by the sun
Not war-times bloody guns
May their peace be deep
Remember where the broken bodies lie
God knows how young they were
To have to die

You know God knows how young they were
To have to die

And tell them how they are missed
But say not to fear
It's gonna be all right
With us down here

It's gonna be all right
With us down here

29 Weeks and counting

So I have hit the third-trimester mark and I have to say that being pregnant has been such an amazing experience thus far. I have been blessed with an "easy" pregnancy (minus having heartburn sent directly from Satan himself, swollen feet and the normal aches and pains). I feel as if I have been in one of the best emotional states of my life, even if I cry over the smallest things.

There has been so much joy that has come out of carrying Gwendolyn. I have grown closer to our Father, how can you not when you are carrying a little miracle inside of you?

So I have been absent for the past month, mostly due to my camera disappearing (blog posts are 10x more interesting when there is at least one photo). I found the MIA camera in our Halloween decoration storage box, what was it doing in there? Probably the Monster Mash. 

So here I am with a 29 week update. I will post a picture of our amazing Halloween costume a bit later.

Looking a bit swollen.

Joseph and I took a Babymoon to Maggie Valley/Asheville (thanks to our wonderful friends Mark and Jessie!) Joseph wanted to see a waterfall so after a nice little hike down a steep mountain side, we ended up here, at this beautiful sight. The trek back up wasn't much fun but we made it.

How far along? 29 Weeks

Total weight gain/loss: 11  pounds...The doctor was a little concerned last week at my check up as I am measuring 17 cm. She said if I was measuring 16 cm or less she would be more concerned. She actually told me to eat more red meat!

Maternity clothes? Yep. There are a few of my pre-preggo shirts that I can still wear but not many.

Stretch marks? They are still there but not getting any worse so that is good!

Sleep: On and off. Gwendolyn has found my ribs and she enjoys kicking them frequently. Between her kicks and my overactive bladder I wake up at least 5-6 times a night.

Best moment this week: Watching my stomach before bed. I try to go to bed an hour or so early so I can read. She usually decides to squirm and kick (I don't think she is enjoying Jane Austen) and I love watching my tummy roll and move with her movements. It is such an indescribable feeling to see your stomach move.

Miss Anything? Gin, Jack, Jim...I miss sleeping on my back, seeing my toes, being able to shave my legs without having to prop my leg up on my sister-in-love's medical chair from when she broke her back. I miss running too, which I never thought I would say. Since I wasn't really a runner before getting pregnant (I had only participated in one 5k), it wasn't safe for me to continue running after pregnancy.

Movement: She is always moving and I love it! (Except when she kicks my ribs or rolls on my bladder. No fun...)

Food cravings: No crazy cravings, soda mostly. Though I have learned that Pinterest is a pregnant woman's worst enemy. Anytime I see a food item on there, I want it immediately!

Anything making you queasy or sick: Chinese food still isn't happening...the thought of it makes me want to hurl. Mexican food isn't on the top of my list either but to my husband's dismay.

Have you started to show yet: Oh yes, over the past two or three weeks she has popped out! It is nice that people can actually tell that I am pregnant and not just gaining weight at a rapid speed.

Gender: Sweet Southern Girl. I was listening to Carrie Underwood's "All-American Girl" and it made me so happy that our first little one is a girl. My mom just told me that my nephew (though 2 hours away) keeps saying "Pink Baby!" So he knows he will have a little girl cousin on the way!

Labor Signs: Not really, though I contract frequently when I pee.

Belly Button in or out? Innie! I hope it stays that way.

Wedding rings on or off? I finally took them off and put them away this week. It was getting to the point where they hurt. I started wearing my right hand ring but before then I looked like an un-wed, pregnant woman. (People give you looks).

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy! Though moody at night when I am super tired (Poor Joseph)

Things you love:  I love watching her move in my tummy. I love talking about being pregnant. I love dreaming about who she will be. I love planning for her arrival. I love planning her nursery. Most of all, I love her father.

Looking forward to:  Her arrival. Though I don't want to wish away this stage of my life as it is so special. I am also looking forward to our baby showers! So many people have put a lot of effort into planning these events for us and we are so grateful and can't wait to spend time with family and friends in celebration of Gwen!

The One About the First Trimester

Since I am coming up on my third trimester, (what, already? Sheesh!) I thought I would give you a little look into my life as it pertained to the first trimester. 

Over the last few years, I have seen my share of pregnant women and have heard their stories. Many heart-wrenching miscarriages, women lit with new-found pregnancy only to lose their little light in a few short weeks myself included. Many successful pregnancies, now with little ones who are one, two even three years old; walking, talking and doing what toddlers do. I have heard stories of post-partum depression, premature births, divorce, of such debilitating sickness during pregnancy that they refuse to go through it again.

The beauty of pregnancy and birth is that everyone experiences it differently, whether it is a sad or happy occasion. The women own their stories and I own mine.

The first trimester was just that, trying. It was one of mixed sensories (I don't think sensories is a word but I am going to coin it now. It means anything combination of things being felt emotionally, physically or spiritually. If there is another word...comment below and I may decide to start using the correct one instead of my made-up jargon. Preggo brain is real, people): joy, hope, fear, anxiety, nausea, fatigue, dreams, realizations...the list goes on.

The one that stands out most is nausea. While I only had morning sickness a couple of times the nausea was unrelenting. From around 8 weeks until 12.5 weeks, the sick feeling plagued me. I was prescribed Zofran which causes constipation which, surprise surprise, causes nausea. I tried pickle juice, lemon heads, lemons, ginger tea, candied ginger, preggie pops, oyster crackers, saltine crackers, ginger ale... Women at work would look on my green self with pity, offering any old wives tale remedy that they could remember from their Great Aunt Roberta. Ackerman strived every day to make sure I had some sort of food that wouldn't make my stomach turn. Our poor baby was raised on bean burritos from Taco Bell that first trimester. Maybe we should rename her Lolita. He was my hero in those last weeks of the first trimester. Patient, understanding and most of all kind.

Fear was also a strong presence. At around eight weeks, we attended a friend's wedding. During the reception I went to use the facilities (peeing becomes a ritual) and I noticed some spotting. I felt numb. This isn't happening again. Not now. You can't have this one too. You can't. Ha. Like I could really tell God that He couldn't have a life He created. I calmly told Joseph and we left immediately, post-poning a trip to Myrtle Beach to see my family. I went home and laid on my left side, I covered my stomach with my hand to hold the baby in place and drank water. I prayed. So hard. Not this one. TMI ALERT: I called my midwife and she asked if we had had sex the night before and we had. That is what caused the spotting. The relief was so great. Selfishly, I had made up my mind before we knew we were pregnant that if I miscarried again that we weren't trying again. Little did I know that a few months later, one of my good friends would miscarry her second time and then a few months after that, she would miscarry for the third time. I've learned a lot about strength, faith and trust through her. 

These first few months went by so slowly like a five minute car ride when you were a child; never ending. I didn't want to get excited about baby. We got to see our little one at 6 weeks old, a little string bean with a heartbeat. Then the nausea came and the tiredness ensued and I lived the next five weeks in slow motion. I didn't want to plan a nursery or buy any clothes. We told those around us and that was it. I felt like I was holding my breath those months, I couldn't relax. I just wanted to wait and wait we did. 

But then it did end. The nausea lifted and the magic 12 weeks passed and I had hope that this baby would live. The world sighed and I sighed along with her. 

The second trimester has been a completely different experience and while I have had a few complications and have experienced the usually aches and pains that come a long with pregnancy, I feel amazing. But more on my second trimester later.