Thursday, June 17, 2010

Coming Clean...

I have to come clean. I started this blog for selfish reasons. I had a dream, the dream died and so I stopped writing.

My dream was to be a WeddingBee Blogger. What's that you ask? Only an amazing Web site that allows regular, everyday girls to write about their wedding planning experience. Each girl brings something different to the table whether they are DIY gurus, budget-savvy brides or simply too creative for their own good.


In order to be a bee. You have to blog. In order to be a blogger, you must be compelling, interesting, a decent writer and most of all creative. Each bee blogger has their own icon, some of my favorites are, "Miss. Pug", "Miss. Lobster", "Mrs. Cowboy Boots" (she got married so they changed her from a Miss. to a Mrs.)

After a bit of blogging (around 15 posts), I filled out the application to be a bee. There were questions like, "Please describe details of the wedding you are planning including religious ceremonies, cultural ceremonies, etc." which I answered,

"Joseph and I are not only in love with each other but with Christ. We are planning a spiritual ceremony that will include both secular and Christian music, a foot washing ceremony and maybe even a bit of praise and worship music. It is important to both of us that the Gospel is shared but in a non-threatening way as some of our guests are non-Christian. We want to have a ceremony that includes all the beautiful aspects of us but that will also embraces our guests.

Our wedding will have some DIY flair as well as semi-DIY touches (similar to a blogging version of the show "Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee"…except it’s Semi-DIY with Jessica E.) There will be semi-DIY invites (with yours truly adding flourishes), hanging letters for the church and reception location doors, homemade wedding favors, homemade beer (oh yes…homemade beer. There will be documentation and free samples)."

I showed my personality, I was honest and I wasn't chosen to be a bee. When I received the rejection e-mail by heart sank. I wanted a cute icon...I was already set on being "Miss. Locket" or "Miss. Brooch"


Each time a new blogger is introduced, along with their cute icons, my heart hurts just a little.

But alas, I was not meant to be a bee.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Engaged x2

I have been waivering on writing this post as it can be a little touchy but I believe the issue to be more common than most of us think.

I was previously engaged. Before I met my wonderful Joseph, I had a lapse in judgement and became engaged to someone that I knew was not right for me.

"Why?" you ask? Honestly, I don't know. I do know that I felt like it was the right thing to do. I was 22 and felt like I was getting to the age where people get married and have children. I was behind and needed to catch up. I felt as if I was being pressured to get married.

Once the ring was on my finger everything felt wrong. The ring was a huge shackal pulling my heart and body down. A huge cloud hung over me and there was nothing I could do to shake it. I tried lying to myself, telling myself that I was trying to sabotage my happiness: that he was, in fact, the one for me. I tried rationalizing the situation in my head. That I would learn to be happy with him. I felt trapped, as if there were nothing I could do. I saw my life and how unhappy I would be.

Then, I got up the courage to break off the engagement. Everyone was furious. My family. His family. Him. Everyone except me. I felt free. I knew the instant I gave back the ring that it was the right decision and now, more than ever, I know that it is true.

So, now I am engaged again. How do I feel? Elated. Joyful. Grateful. This is how being engaged is supposed to feel. I am excited about marrying Joseph. There is a freedom and a certainty that I didn't expect to have. I was afraid that I would have the same "gloom and doom" feelings that I had when I was 22.



Since then, I always wondered how I would know who the right man was. Was it a feeling? A sign? All I knew is that I didn't, and wouldn't, go through another engagement break-up. It was too emotional, too scarring.

As friends told me over and over, you will just know. Things will fall into place. You will have a serenity and a peace. This is how it is supposed to be. When you wait on the one that God has hand picked you just know it's right.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Color Me Love

First, Happy Birthday to my Dad!

In a previous post, I wrote about my new-found love for pink. You would think I was a six-year-old girl playing with her Barbies because I loved pink so much. Blush pink with champagne, ballet pink with black: the combinations were endless and all more beautiful with the last.

But alas, I am writing to tell you that the love affair has ended. I found a new love: red.


I have always been fond of red, the color of love and passion, wine and cherries, my blackberry and favorite nail polish. (Also the color of blood but we won’t go there today). Most importantly, my fiancĂ© loves red which is a bonus for his groomsmen as they will be donning red ties instead of pink. Not that I would put them in pink ties.

The red that will grace our day is Apple Red by David’s Bridal.


It is not quite burgundy but not bright red either. It is deep, it is beautiful and most of all it looks good on most skin colors. I am pretty sure I am going to start petitioning for red to be considered a neutral, like black or tan.

I was so afraid of committing to pink. Would I look back ten years down the road and regret it? Probably. Is red a safe choice? Yes. Which is perfectly fine by me.

Black (another favorite of Joseph's) will also be accompanying the apple red as well as ivory. Overall, the colors represent us as a couple. We are both drawn to them and will be using them in our decor for when we move in together.

Choosing the color scheme of the wedding was by far one of the most difficult tasks as there are so many beautiful pallets out there (not to mention the millions of inspiration boards that had me drooling!)

What scheme did you or are you going to use for your wedding? Was it a hard decision?