31 Weeks

When it comes to pregnancy, all I can say is people lied. See chart below:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

Expectation	Reality
Midnight milkshake cravings	Midnight pee runs
Hating my body	Loving my new bump
Severe Acid Reflux	Yeah…they didn’t lie about that
Amazing cravings: fast food, ice cream, chocolate	No cravings except the occasional gummy bear
Crazy stretch marks	No new stretch marks (forthcoming maybe?)
Waddling like a duck	Still walking like a normal person
Glowing skin	Acne popping up in the weirdest places
Fear of birth process	Calm, knowing that my body is made for this purpose
Swollen feet	Yeah…that is true.
Random people touching my belly	Not one person has yet to touch my belly without asking.
Looking like a blimp by 5 months	People could barely tell I was pregnant

For some reason, I think I have been one of the lucky pregnant women who have been blessed with a fairly easy pregnancy. While there have been a few bumps in the road (failing my first glucose test and having to take the 3-hour glucose test that I swear almost killed me...no worries though I passed and a minor heart mishap that was due to stress), my journey has been smooth sailing.

Gwendolyn has been growing and moving, I have a husband who is supportive and extremely involved in the preparing process (and in dealing with my extremely emotional, tired self). I honestly thought I would complain a lot more. 

How far along?  31 weeks! (Almost 8 months!)

Total weight gain/loss?  11 pounds! I am very proud of how much I have gained. I am right on target for not gaining too much or too little.

Maternity clothes?  Yes, on the reg.

Stretch marks? None! (Well besides the ones I already had)

Sleep?  Lately sleep has been iffy. Acid reflux has taken it's toll on my sleeping habits, waking me up in the middle of the night. I havestarted propping myself up on three pillows which isn't too comfortable but any sleep is better than no sleep.

Best moment last week? Our baby shower in Conway and at my work! It never ceases to amaze me how much people love us. I am so grateful for my mom, sister and sister-in-love for all they did for the shower in Conway and for my co-workers for raising $145 for us!

Movement?  Constantly and I love it! (Except when she sticks her hand/foot in my rib or decides to karate chop my bladder). I have noticed peak times when she is active and I freak out if she doesn't move during those times. I love how she responds if I press on my belly or tap on it.

 Food cravings?  As long as I stay away from Pinterest I usually don't have intense cravings. While Pinterest is a bride's ebest friend it is a pregnant woman's enemy! All the amazing food! I bought my sister a 3-pound bag of gummy bears as a thank you gift for helping with the shower and since then I have wanted gummy bears.

Gender? She is still a she and forever a she shall she be.

Labor signs? Not that I am aware of. I am new to the pregnancy thing. Someitmes it feels as if my uterus gets tight but there is no pain associated with it, so maybe it is a Braxton-Hicks? Who knows...

Belly button in/out? Completely in. I don't think it will ever pop out! Though, isn't that how you tell when a baby is done cooking? Your belly-button timer pops out?

What I miss: I miss gin and tonic. People are going to think I'm an alcoholic. I miss medium-rare steak.

What I am looking forward to: My maternity photos with Studio 9 Photography! I am looking to do some Christmasy photos (as well as regluar ones) If you have any ideas, let me know!

Funny Story: So last night I woke up and noticed that my legs were wet. My first thought: "I peed the bed!" Second thought: "My water broke!" Then I realized I was just really hot and sweaty.

Letter to Saint Peter

On Veteran's Day, I want to share with you a song that has been one of my favorites. Many of you know about the obsession love I have for Edwin McCain. The song, "Prayer to Saint Peter" is off of his Messenger album.

Little did I know, that this song was actually a poem written by Elma Dean in 1942. From Oakland, California, Elma realized that the war (WWII) was not going well for the US and the poem was written to convey her sorrow for the young men who were being killed, including some of her son's dearest friends.

The poem was originally converted to a song by John Gorka and then covered by Edwin.

On this Veteran's Day, let us remember to thank those Veterans whose eyes may not shine as bright as they once did, clouded by the haze of shrapnel and visions that we can never imagine. The one's in wheelchairs and hospital beds. The one's that wear the "Vietnam" hat and quietly walk by you. The one's that just returned home and have yet to learn what the aftermath of being a combat soldier is. Let us also remember those who gave their lives.

Let them in, Peter
For they are very tired
Give them couches where the angels sleep
And light those fires
Let them wake whole again
To brand new dawns
Fired by the sun
Not war-times bloody guns
May their peace be deep
Remember where the broken bodies lie
God knows how young they were
To have to die

You know God knows how young they were
To have to die

Give them things they like
Let them make some noise
Give dance hall bands not golden harps
To these our boys
Let them love Peter
For they've had no time
They should have bird songs and trees
And hills to climb
The taste of summer
And a ripened pear
And girls as sweet as meadow wind
And flowing hair
And tell them how they are missed
But say not to fear
It's gonna be all right
With us down here

Let them in, Peter
For they are very tired
Give them couches where the angels sleep
And light those fires
Let them wake whole again
To brand new dawns
Fired by the sun
Not war-times bloody guns
May their peace be deep
Remember where the broken bodies lie
God knows how young they were
To have to die

You know God knows how young they were
To have to die

And tell them how they are missed
But say not to fear
It's gonna be all right
With us down here

It's gonna be all right
With us down here

29 Weeks and counting

So I have hit the third-trimester mark and I have to say that being pregnant has been such an amazing experience thus far. I have been blessed with an "easy" pregnancy (minus having heartburn sent directly from Satan himself, swollen feet and the normal aches and pains). I feel as if I have been in one of the best emotional states of my life, even if I cry over the smallest things.

There has been so much joy that has come out of carrying Gwendolyn. I have grown closer to our Father, how can you not when you are carrying a little miracle inside of you?

So I have been absent for the past month, mostly due to my camera disappearing (blog posts are 10x more interesting when there is at least one photo). I found the MIA camera in our Halloween decoration storage box, what was it doing in there? Probably the Monster Mash. 

So here I am with a 29 week update. I will post a picture of our amazing Halloween costume a bit later.

Looking a bit swollen.

Joseph and I took a Babymoon to Maggie Valley/Asheville (thanks to our wonderful friends Mark and Jessie!) Joseph wanted to see a waterfall so after a nice little hike down a steep mountain side, we ended up here, at this beautiful sight. The trek back up wasn't much fun but we made it.

How far along? 29 Weeks

Total weight gain/loss: 11  pounds...The doctor was a little concerned last week at my check up as I am measuring 17 cm. She said if I was measuring 16 cm or less she would be more concerned. She actually told me to eat more red meat!

Maternity clothes? Yep. There are a few of my pre-preggo shirts that I can still wear but not many.

Stretch marks? They are still there but not getting any worse so that is good!

Sleep: On and off. Gwendolyn has found my ribs and she enjoys kicking them frequently. Between her kicks and my overactive bladder I wake up at least 5-6 times a night.

Best moment this week: Watching my stomach before bed. I try to go to bed an hour or so early so I can read. She usually decides to squirm and kick (I don't think she is enjoying Jane Austen) and I love watching my tummy roll and move with her movements. It is such an indescribable feeling to see your stomach move.

Miss Anything? Gin, Jack, Jim...I miss sleeping on my back, seeing my toes, being able to shave my legs without having to prop my leg up on my sister-in-love's medical chair from when she broke her back. I miss running too, which I never thought I would say. Since I wasn't really a runner before getting pregnant (I had only participated in one 5k), it wasn't safe for me to continue running after pregnancy.

Movement: She is always moving and I love it! (Except when she kicks my ribs or rolls on my bladder. No fun...)

Food cravings: No crazy cravings, soda mostly. Though I have learned that Pinterest is a pregnant woman's worst enemy. Anytime I see a food item on there, I want it immediately!

Anything making you queasy or sick: Chinese food still isn't happening...the thought of it makes me want to hurl. Mexican food isn't on the top of my list either but to my husband's dismay.

Have you started to show yet: Oh yes, over the past two or three weeks she has popped out! It is nice that people can actually tell that I am pregnant and not just gaining weight at a rapid speed.

Gender: Sweet Southern Girl. I was listening to Carrie Underwood's "All-American Girl" and it made me so happy that our first little one is a girl. My mom just told me that my nephew (though 2 hours away) keeps saying "Pink Baby!" So he knows he will have a little girl cousin on the way!

Labor Signs: Not really, though I contract frequently when I pee.

Belly Button in or out? Innie! I hope it stays that way.

Wedding rings on or off? I finally took them off and put them away this week. It was getting to the point where they hurt. I started wearing my right hand ring but before then I looked like an un-wed, pregnant woman. (People give you looks).

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy! Though moody at night when I am super tired (Poor Joseph)

Things you love:  I love watching her move in my tummy. I love talking about being pregnant. I love dreaming about who she will be. I love planning for her arrival. I love planning her nursery. Most of all, I love her father.

Looking forward to:  Her arrival. Though I don't want to wish away this stage of my life as it is so special. I am also looking forward to our baby showers! So many people have put a lot of effort into planning these events for us and we are so grateful and can't wait to spend time with family and friends in celebration of Gwen!

The One About the First Trimester

Since I am coming up on my third trimester, (what, already? Sheesh!) I thought I would give you a little look into my life as it pertained to the first trimester. 

Over the last few years, I have seen my share of pregnant women and have heard their stories. Many heart-wrenching miscarriages, women lit with new-found pregnancy only to lose their little light in a few short weeks myself included. Many successful pregnancies, now with little ones who are one, two even three years old; walking, talking and doing what toddlers do. I have heard stories of post-partum depression, premature births, divorce, of such debilitating sickness during pregnancy that they refuse to go through it again.

The beauty of pregnancy and birth is that everyone experiences it differently, whether it is a sad or happy occasion. The women own their stories and I own mine.

The first trimester was just that, trying. It was one of mixed sensories (I don't think sensories is a word but I am going to coin it now. It means anything combination of things being felt emotionally, physically or spiritually. If there is another word...comment below and I may decide to start using the correct one instead of my made-up jargon. Preggo brain is real, people): joy, hope, fear, anxiety, nausea, fatigue, dreams, realizations...the list goes on.

The one that stands out most is nausea. While I only had morning sickness a couple of times the nausea was unrelenting. From around 8 weeks until 12.5 weeks, the sick feeling plagued me. I was prescribed Zofran which causes constipation which, surprise surprise, causes nausea. I tried pickle juice, lemon heads, lemons, ginger tea, candied ginger, preggie pops, oyster crackers, saltine crackers, ginger ale... Women at work would look on my green self with pity, offering any old wives tale remedy that they could remember from their Great Aunt Roberta. Ackerman strived every day to make sure I had some sort of food that wouldn't make my stomach turn. Our poor baby was raised on bean burritos from Taco Bell that first trimester. Maybe we should rename her Lolita. He was my hero in those last weeks of the first trimester. Patient, understanding and most of all kind.

Fear was also a strong presence. At around eight weeks, we attended a friend's wedding. During the reception I went to use the facilities (peeing becomes a ritual) and I noticed some spotting. I felt numb. This isn't happening again. Not now. You can't have this one too. You can't. Ha. Like I could really tell God that He couldn't have a life He created. I calmly told Joseph and we left immediately, post-poning a trip to Myrtle Beach to see my family. I went home and laid on my left side, I covered my stomach with my hand to hold the baby in place and drank water. I prayed. So hard. Not this one. TMI ALERT: I called my midwife and she asked if we had had sex the night before and we had. That is what caused the spotting. The relief was so great. Selfishly, I had made up my mind before we knew we were pregnant that if I miscarried again that we weren't trying again. Little did I know that a few months later, one of my good friends would miscarry her second time and then a few months after that, she would miscarry for the third time. I've learned a lot about strength, faith and trust through her. 

These first few months went by so slowly like a five minute car ride when you were a child; never ending. I didn't want to get excited about baby. We got to see our little one at 6 weeks old, a little string bean with a heartbeat. Then the nausea came and the tiredness ensued and I lived the next five weeks in slow motion. I didn't want to plan a nursery or buy any clothes. We told those around us and that was it. I felt like I was holding my breath those months, I couldn't relax. I just wanted to wait and wait we did. 

But then it did end. The nausea lifted and the magic 12 weeks passed and I had hope that this baby would live. The world sighed and I sighed along with her. 

The second trimester has been a completely different experience and while I have had a few complications and have experienced the usually aches and pains that come a long with pregnancy, I feel amazing. But more on my second trimester later.

24 weeks pregnant and counting

Looking a little tired, but that's okay!

How far along? 24 Weeks

Total weight gain/loss: 8 pounds...Staying within the healthy weight!

Maternity clothes? Oh yeah, haven't broken into the sweatpants yet.

Stretch marks? I have a feeling they aren't going anywhere but luckily they aren't getting any darker.

Sleep: On and off. Gwendolyn is starting to build strength and is kicking a lot harder. She seems to like my bladder in particular!

Best moment this week: Hands down: Joseph feeling Gwendolyn kick for the first time! It was so exciting. It is hard for husbands as they can't feel the baby constantly. It made me feel like he is more connected.

Miss Anything? Being able to walk across the Horseshoe at USC without being winded. Also, eating normally. Sometimes I can't stop eating...other times I don't want to even think about food.

Movement: She is doing the hokey pokey in my tummy! Her peak hours are around 9:30, 2:30 and 9:30

Food cravings: Sweets still...especially cheesecake.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Chinese food still isn't happening.

Have you started to show yet: See the photo above! People are starting to comment that I am getting bigger! I am glad I am preggo because I definitely wouldn't take it as a compliment!

Gender: She is still a girl! As weeks go on, I get more and more excited about her being...well....a her. The bows! The lace! The frills! The prospect of her being the next prima ballerina!

Labor Signs: I cramp every once and a while. I think it is more of the long ligament cramps as it happens when I walk too quickly.

Belly Button in or out? In

Wedding rings on or off? Barely on. A few more weeks and I am sure my fingers will be too big.

Happy or Moody most of the time: I am getting into the wonderful part of pregnancy. I feel good, I am starting the nesting instinct, I feel closer to my husband...so the mood is great!

Things you love: I love the long nails and glossy hair. I love that my husband is extra sensitive to my needs. I dislike how people treat me like I am sick. No...I'm pregnant.

Looking forward to:  Her getting here! I get so excited about the birth process and being able to finally hold her. I hate to wish time away as pregnancy is such a short part of a woman's life (unless you are Michelle Duggar) but it is hard to think of her swimming around in my tummy and me not being able to see her face!

Head on over to The Art of Making Baby for your chance to win a Maxi Cosi Pria70 Convertible Car Seat. I mean...take a look at this thing!

I haven't done a great job at comparing carseats, strollers, cribs, etc...there are so many options, so many opinions...just too many and frankly, I trust the opinion of TAOMB. Go on now...

Write me a song...and a little rant

First a rant:

Lately I've been thinking a lot about the birth process. The pain, happiness, problems, successes, overwhelming love and everything in between.

I have been lucky to talk to a few strong, inspiring women who had natural births with out the use of pain medication (one even had to have Pitocin and birthed without meds...I don't know how she did it!)

 When I express my desire to have a natural childbirth, women look at me like I have a third eye. Their eyes get round and they exclaim one of many statements:

"You are crazy! You just wait, you will be screaming for pain medications!"

"Oh...well...good luck. IIIIIII (emphasis on the I) wouldn't do it."

"You can have a pain free birth...why not?"

But it is the one thing that they don't say that bothers me the most. It is their implication that I am ignorant and dumb for not taking the IV to my arm and shooting up with the "serum of the gods".

At first, I found myself making excuses for myself as to why I was choosing to forgo the big E (epidural). I blamed it on my fear of needles...which is true. But I then realized that my fear was not the only reason I was choosing to go natural. It's better for baby Gwen to not be pumped full of the medications that would make me comfortable, there is a greater risk of cesarean section when you are induced (and believe it or not, c-sections are major surgery) and most of all: God made my body to give birth, to work with baby Gwendolyn in a way that will never happen again and ultimately to bond with her.

Just a little statistic: in 1965, the national cesarean rate was 4.5% and  raised to 32.8% in 2010.

So this is where I state that I am not ashamed of my choice for a natural childbirth and I will no longer make excuses. Yes, I am aware that it is going to hurt and Cash's song, "Ring of Fire" will take on a new meaning for me. But this is an experience that I choose to have - to feel alive - to feel what it is like to bring a baby into this world and not fear it.

If you go for a medicated birth or have to have a c-section, more power to you.

Now, I am not going into this expecting everything to be peachy and easy. I know that I will probably go through the most pain I have ever been through before. I remember the pain I experienced when I miscarried with Lord Volde so I can only imagine that it will be exponentially worse.

I am also not going into the labor and delivery room thinking that the birth is going to go the way I want it. I know that sometimes c-sections are necessary but I also know that some doctors tend to push c-sections so they can make it to happy hour or can protect themselves from lawsuits. Not me, pal.

Second, the music:

One method I will use to ease the pains of labor (or at least take my mind away from it) is music. I have ready that you should have a soft, relaxing play list and a more upbeat play list for the times when you are pushing. I tend to rely more on soothing music when I am in pain so while I will make a play list of pumped up tunes, I will focus on the softer side.

Through the Floor – Edwin McCain

Fade Into You – Mazzy Star

Wild Horses - The Sundays

American Baby – Dave Matthews

Poison & Wine – The Civil Wars

How He Loves – David Crowder

Carolina in My Mind – James Taylor

Fill Me Up – United Pursuit

Running in Circles – United Pursuit

Color Blind – Counting Crows

Fire & Rain – James Taylor

The Funeral – Band of Horses

Tequila Makes Me Crazy – Kenny Chesney        

Fast Car – Tracey Chapman

Worth It All – Rita Springer

First Time Ever I Saw Your Face – Johnny Cash

#41 – Dave Matthews

Soon – Hillsong United

We Found Love – Rihanna

First Day Of My Life – Bright Eyes

Windows Are Rolled Down – Amos Lee

Your Song – Elton John

Gravity - Sara Bareilles

Can’t Help Falling In Love – Ingrid Michaelson

I Have to Believe - Rita Springer

Ho Hey – Lumineers

Gotta Have You – The Weepies

Part One – Band of Horses  Viorar Vel Til Loftarasa – Sigur Ros I am sure that I will need many, many more songs (I will probably add the entire Civil Wars Album and some additional Edwin McCain songs...) So, that is my list thus far. Is there anything I should add or delete from the list?



Fives

Let me introduce you to Fives. His real name is Fievel (after the mouse in American Tale), but after a while his name was shorted to a simple "Fives" and then it was changed to "Sir Fives" when we knighted him with a sword that was sitting in our living room. So he is now, "Sir Fives" and I daresay he enjoys the title. We have had him since before we got married, when he was just a cute little kitten. He was innocent, with cute paws (that I endearingly call paw-paws).

Sorry for the bad quality photo

He is a relatively spoiled cat, enjoying paw-paw massages and belly rubs. I mean...look at those paws! They are so cute! He also enjoys sleeping upside down in your lap. He is a talker and will let you know when he is hungry or if he just needs to be petted.

Which is always.

Much to his chagrin, we dyed his paws pink and blue for Easter. Don't worry it was vinegar and water!

Ackerman and Fives have a love/hate relationship...mostly hate. Joseph abhors the snootiness of cats and the way they look at him with a smug, all-knowing glare. But every once-in-a-while, you will catch him petting Fives (usually at my direction).

Fives getting up-close and personal

While I adore Fievel (and my husband), the cat has a tendency of waking up at 6:00 am, coming to our door and meowing. Sometimes, if we stay quiet, he will go away for about three minutes and then come back and meow some more until Joseph or I (usually Joseph) gets up to let him outside.

For the past few days I have had a new alarm clock and it is not one that I like.

I will leave you with a photo of our puppy Simcoe (named after one of my husband's favorite hops)...though he is not much of a puppy anymore!