Pre-marital Couseling

Counseling has been the best decision that Joseph and I have made since we started dating. I have learned so much about myself (good and bad) and have gained necessary tools and principles to help make our marriage successful.

For example, I learned that I am a feeler while Joseph is a thinker. I make decisions based on my emotions and Joseph makes decisions based on pure logic. I am a Retriever-Beaver and Joseph is a Lion-Otter.

I learned that I am severely passive aggressive...

While Joseph is extremely assertive (with a little bit of aggression mixed in). While it is hard to kick old habits, I know that in order for Joseph and I to communicate effectively and avoid unnecessary conflict, I will have to mosey into the realm of being more assertive and less passive aggressive. I have successfully been assertive once and it felt amazing...for the seven or so times that I have been passive aggressive since then...well...I have no excuse. Sorry, Joseph! I am working on it.

We also got some scary statistics. 50% percent of first marriages end in divorce, 67% of second and 74% of third marriages. Many couples, when faced with hardships, now turn to the easy way out: divorce. Instead of praying and working through the issues, they sign a piece of paper. They think, "oh...I married the wrong person." FALSE! You did not marry the wrong person. You gave up on the right person. Now I know there are circumstances where divorce is necessary (abuse being one).

But I digress. The whole point is that you marry someone not just because you love them, but because God has intricately designed us to need a helpmate. He did not design us to be alone. Matthew 19:4-6 states: "He answered, 'Haven't you read in your Bible that the Creator originally made man and woman for each other, male and female? And because of this, a man leaves father and mother and is firmly bonded to his wife, becoming one flesh—no longer two bodies but one. Because God created this organic union of the two sexes, no one should desecrate his art by cutting them apart.'" (The Message).