Coming Clean...

I have to come clean. I started this blog for selfish reasons. I had a dream, the dream died and so I stopped writing.

My dream was to be a WeddingBee Blogger. What's that you ask? Only an amazing Web site that allows regular, everyday girls to write about their wedding planning experience. Each girl brings something different to the table whether they are DIY gurus, budget-savvy brides or simply too creative for their own good.

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In order to be a bee. You have to blog. In order to be a blogger, you must be compelling, interesting, a decent writer and most of all creative. Each bee blogger has their own icon, some of my favorites are, "Miss. Pug", "Miss. Lobster", "Mrs. Cowboy Boots" (she got married so they changed her from a Miss. to a Mrs.)

After a bit of blogging (around 15 posts), I filled out the application to be a bee. There were questions like, "Please describe details of the wedding you are planning including religious ceremonies, cultural ceremonies, etc." which I answered,

"Joseph and I are not only in love with each other but with Christ. We are planning a spiritual ceremony that will include both secular and Christian music, a foot washing ceremony and maybe even a bit of praise and worship music. It is important to both of us that the Gospel is shared but in a non-threatening way as some of our guests are non-Christian. We want to have a ceremony that includes all the beautiful aspects of us but that will also embraces our guests.

Our wedding will have some DIY flair as well as semi-DIY touches (similar to a blogging version of the show "Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee"…except it’s Semi-DIY with Jessica E.) There will be semi-DIY invites (with yours truly adding flourishes), hanging letters for the church and reception location doors, homemade wedding favors, homemade beer (oh yes…homemade beer. There will be documentation and free samples)."

I showed my personality, I was honest and I wasn't chosen to be a bee. When I received the rejection e-mail by heart sank. I wanted a cute icon...I was already set on being "Miss. Locket" or "Miss. Brooch"

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Each time a new blogger is introduced, along with their cute icons, my heart hurts just a little.

But alas, I was not meant to be a bee.

Engaged x2

I have been waivering on writing this post as it can be a little touchy but I believe the issue to be more common than most of us think.

I was previously engaged. Before I met my wonderful Joseph, I had a lapse in judgement and became engaged to someone that I knew was not right for me.

"Why?" you ask? Honestly, I don't know. I do know that I felt like it was the right thing to do. I was 22 and felt like I was getting to the age where people get married and have children. I was behind and needed to catch up. I felt as if I was being pressured to get married.

Once the ring was on my finger everything felt wrong. The ring was a huge shackal pulling my heart and body down. A huge cloud hung over me and there was nothing I could do to shake it. I tried lying to myself, telling myself that I was trying to sabotage my happiness: that he was, in fact, the one for me. I tried rationalizing the situation in my head. That I would learn to be happy with him. I felt trapped, as if there were nothing I could do. I saw my life and how unhappy I would be.

Then, I got up the courage to break off the engagement. Everyone was furious. My family. His family. Him. Everyone except me. I felt free. I knew the instant I gave back the ring that it was the right decision and now, more than ever, I know that it is true.

So, now I am engaged again. How do I feel? Elated. Joyful. Grateful. This is how being engaged is supposed to feel. I am excited about marrying Joseph. There is a freedom and a certainty that I didn't expect to have. I was afraid that I would have the same "gloom and doom" feelings that I had when I was 22.

 

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Since then, I always wondered how I would know who the right man was. Was it a feeling? A sign? All I knew is that I didn't, and wouldn't, go through another engagement break-up. It was too emotional, too scarring.

As friends told me over and over, you will just know. Things will fall into place. You will have a serenity and a peace. This is how it is supposed to be. When you wait on the one that God has hand picked you just know it's right.

Color Me Love

First, Happy Birthday to my Dad!

In a previous post, I wrote about my new-found love for pink. You would think I was a six-year-old girl playing with her Barbies because I loved pink so much. Blush pink with champagne, ballet pink with black: the combinations were endless and all more beautiful with the last.

But alas, I am writing to tell you that the love affair has ended. I found a new love: red.

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I have always been fond of red, the color of love and passion, wine and cherries, my blackberry and favorite nail polish. (Also the color of blood but we won’t go there today). Most importantly, my fiancé loves red which is a bonus for his groomsmen as they will be donning red ties instead of pink. Not that I would put them in pink ties.

The red that will grace our day is Apple Red by David’s Bridal.

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It is not quite burgundy but not bright red either. It is deep, it is beautiful and most of all it looks good on most skin colors. I am pretty sure I am going to start petitioning for red to be considered a neutral, like black or tan.

I was so afraid of committing to pink. Would I look back ten years down the road and regret it? Probably. Is red a safe choice? Yes. Which is perfectly fine by me.

Black (another favorite of Joseph's) will also be accompanying the apple red as well as ivory. Overall, the colors represent us as a couple. We are both drawn to them and will be using them in our decor for when we move in together.

Choosing the color scheme of the wedding was by far one of the most difficult tasks as there are so many beautiful pallets out there (not to mention the millions of inspiration boards that had me drooling!)

What scheme did you or are you going to use for your wedding? Was it a hard decision?

Short and satin

Going into the whole “I am the bride, I am going to design my wedding and it is going to be the best ever!” mode, I decided to not have a bridal party army.

You know what I am talking about, 3-10 girls dressed in the same color, same shoes, same hair style, same jewelry…okay you get the point.

For some brides, this is the dream they have been having since they were a little girl. Me? Not so much.

 When choosing bridesmaids dresses for my girls, I knew I had to pick a dress that would flatter an array of body types as not one of my girls is the same. There are tall girls, short girls, voluptuous girls, skinny girls, heavy chested girls and girls that might need a bit of padding (including myself).

I believe this dress would be called the miracle dress as it would fit everyone and make each girl look amazing. Alas, after searching high and low, internet and dress shop, I was unable to find this mythical dress.

That being said, I realized that each girl should be able to pick a dress that reflects her personality and style, that makes her feel good about herself (we all know that if you feel great in what you are wearing pictures turn out oh-so-nice), would fit into her budget and one that she will be able to wear again. We all have been stuck with bridesmaid’s dresses that will never again grace our body and shelling out big bucks for little wear time is never a nice pill to swallow.

After looking at several different options, David’s Bridal looked like the best option. Now, I know what you’re thinking: David’s Bridal…the big box bridal store. Before you go any further remember that there is a David’s Bridal in many large cities which is convenient for everyone.

I let the girls choose their own style of dress as long as it was apple red, satin and short. Here are their choices:

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I know...it is a lot but it lends to variety and most of all style.

Did you let the bridesmaids choose their own dresses? Was it beautiful or bust?

Warning: Serious Post Ahead!

From the beginning of our courting, Joseph and I knew we wanted to wash each other’s feet during our ceremony.

While communion or a sand ceremony would be more traditional, we wanted to do something that would represent self-sacrifice and the promise to serve one another. We have seen this done at one other wedding and it was so beautiful, meaningful and symbolic.

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The greatest example of sacrifice is embodied in Christ through the crucifixion. Christ also portrayed self-sacrifice when washing the feet of His disciples,

When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. ‘Do you understand what I have done for you?’ he asked them. ‘You call me 'Teacher' and 'Lord,' and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them. (John 13:12-17)

I have seen a few videos of brides kneeling down, washing the groom's feet. It can be a production of awkwardness as the bride has to de-sock and de-shoe the groom. Hassle? Yes. However, in light of what the act means, it is well worth the hassle and awkwardness.

I found the video below while searching for foot washing ceremonies on YouTube. When I clicked to watch I was taken aback at first by how eclectic the wedding was. Then I got to see the heart of this couple and the pure, unashamed love that they have for God.

I implore you to watch the whole video but to see just the foot washing ceremony you can start the video at 2:56.



I hope, that at our wedding, I will be as honest and pure as she is. The joy that radiates from the couple is indescribable and truly something to strive for.

I look forward to kneeling before Joseph, taking his feet in my hands before family and friends to show him my heart and my willingness to serve him as my husband and Christ as my Savior.

How do I love thee?

Joseph and I both have a Bachelor of Arts in English. We both enjoy literature even though our tastes are a little different. He likes Voltaire, I like Wordsworth. He likes C.S. Lewis, I like Frost.

Despite our differences in taste, there is a common point. No matter what kind of literature our favorites wrote, their literature was compiled in a book or several books.

So here is my next thought: incorporate books, quotes and other geekiness into the wedding.

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Sorry for the oversized photo...but it's gorgeous, right? From the quote in the frame to the beautiful table numbers...makes me feel faint just thinking about it!

And look at this tablescape:

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How can you not love the books under the flowers?

Our wedding has yet to have a theme. However, our theme may just become "much ado about literature".

Have you fallen in love with a particular theme? What was it about the theme that made you adore it so?

Look at this photograph...

I committed Bridal Sin # 256. I will divulge the sin in a minute.

But first, I must admit: I have a bittersweet relationship with photography.

Before Joseph and I became engaged I would tell everyone, "You have to pick what is most important to you and then don't skimp on that part of your wedding." Well for me it was photography but I quickly realized that my budget would not be able to support the photojournalistic type of photographer I wanted.
The photographer that I had been drooling over was Nathan Shafer out of Columbia, S.C. While most of his work is borderline creepy (in a terribly interesting, artistic way), his wedding photography is a different story.

 

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But alas, Nathan Shafer no longer does weddings.

Then there was Wenzel Photography. http://www.wenzelphotography.com. Her work is amazing and she just started out!

So the search continued for a budget friendly photographer that would not fall short. Impossible right?

Well...kind of. I think this might be considered Bridal Sin # 256: Never use a photographer that has never shot a wedding.

It's true. I decided to go with a photographer who has never shot a wedding. She is editor of a magazine and often shoots and edits photos for the magazine. She shot an engagement session for her sister (who is one of my BMs) and it came out better than some professional e-sessions. She has the editing software and skills from being an editor so why not give her a chance? Afterall, we are already comfortable around her and aren't the photographs below amazing? They truly capture the couple's personalities.

Posted with Permission from Photography by ElizabethAnn

It is always hard getting your first gig and if I can help her out (and get a great deal in the process) then great. I trust her. I trust her creativity. I trust her eye.

Am I nervous? Yes. Do I feel as if it is the right think to do? Yes.

Have you ever taken risks on something that is so important to you? Do you regret it or would you do it again? What do you think of ElizabethAnn's photographs?