29 Weeks and counting

So I have hit the third-trimester mark and I have to say that being pregnant has been such an amazing experience thus far. I have been blessed with an "easy" pregnancy (minus having heartburn sent directly from Satan himself, swollen feet and the normal aches and pains). I feel as if I have been in one of the best emotional states of my life, even if I cry over the smallest things.

There has been so much joy that has come out of carrying Gwendolyn. I have grown closer to our Father, how can you not when you are carrying a little miracle inside of you?

So I have been absent for the past month, mostly due to my camera disappearing (blog posts are 10x more interesting when there is at least one photo). I found the MIA camera in our Halloween decoration storage box, what was it doing in there? Probably the Monster Mash. 

So here I am with a 29 week update. I will post a picture of our amazing Halloween costume a bit later.

Looking a bit swollen.

Joseph and I took a Babymoon to Maggie Valley/Asheville (thanks to our wonderful friends Mark and Jessie!) Joseph wanted to see a waterfall so after a nice little hike down a steep mountain side, we ended up here, at this beautiful sight. The trek back up wasn't much fun but we made it.

How far along? 29 Weeks

Total weight gain/loss: 11  pounds...The doctor was a little concerned last week at my check up as I am measuring 17 cm. She said if I was measuring 16 cm or less she would be more concerned. She actually told me to eat more red meat!

Maternity clothes? Yep. There are a few of my pre-preggo shirts that I can still wear but not many.

Stretch marks? They are still there but not getting any worse so that is good!

Sleep: On and off. Gwendolyn has found my ribs and she enjoys kicking them frequently. Between her kicks and my overactive bladder I wake up at least 5-6 times a night.

Best moment this week: Watching my stomach before bed. I try to go to bed an hour or so early so I can read. She usually decides to squirm and kick (I don't think she is enjoying Jane Austen) and I love watching my tummy roll and move with her movements. It is such an indescribable feeling to see your stomach move.

Miss Anything? Gin, Jack, Jim...I miss sleeping on my back, seeing my toes, being able to shave my legs without having to prop my leg up on my sister-in-love's medical chair from when she broke her back. I miss running too, which I never thought I would say. Since I wasn't really a runner before getting pregnant (I had only participated in one 5k), it wasn't safe for me to continue running after pregnancy.

Movement: She is always moving and I love it! (Except when she kicks my ribs or rolls on my bladder. No fun...)

Food cravings: No crazy cravings, soda mostly. Though I have learned that Pinterest is a pregnant woman's worst enemy. Anytime I see a food item on there, I want it immediately!

Anything making you queasy or sick: Chinese food still isn't happening...the thought of it makes me want to hurl. Mexican food isn't on the top of my list either but to my husband's dismay.

Have you started to show yet: Oh yes, over the past two or three weeks she has popped out! It is nice that people can actually tell that I am pregnant and not just gaining weight at a rapid speed.

Gender: Sweet Southern Girl. I was listening to Carrie Underwood's "All-American Girl" and it made me so happy that our first little one is a girl. My mom just told me that my nephew (though 2 hours away) keeps saying "Pink Baby!" So he knows he will have a little girl cousin on the way!

Labor Signs: Not really, though I contract frequently when I pee.

Belly Button in or out? Innie! I hope it stays that way.

Wedding rings on or off? I finally took them off and put them away this week. It was getting to the point where they hurt. I started wearing my right hand ring but before then I looked like an un-wed, pregnant woman. (People give you looks).

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy! Though moody at night when I am super tired (Poor Joseph)

Things you love:  I love watching her move in my tummy. I love talking about being pregnant. I love dreaming about who she will be. I love planning for her arrival. I love planning her nursery. Most of all, I love her father.

Looking forward to:  Her arrival. Though I don't want to wish away this stage of my life as it is so special. I am also looking forward to our baby showers! So many people have put a lot of effort into planning these events for us and we are so grateful and can't wait to spend time with family and friends in celebration of Gwen!

The One About the First Trimester

Since I am coming up on my third trimester, (what, already? Sheesh!) I thought I would give you a little look into my life as it pertained to the first trimester. 

Over the last few years, I have seen my share of pregnant women and have heard their stories. Many heart-wrenching miscarriages, women lit with new-found pregnancy only to lose their little light in a few short weeks myself included. Many successful pregnancies, now with little ones who are one, two even three years old; walking, talking and doing what toddlers do. I have heard stories of post-partum depression, premature births, divorce, of such debilitating sickness during pregnancy that they refuse to go through it again.

The beauty of pregnancy and birth is that everyone experiences it differently, whether it is a sad or happy occasion. The women own their stories and I own mine.

The first trimester was just that, trying. It was one of mixed sensories (I don't think sensories is a word but I am going to coin it now. It means anything combination of things being felt emotionally, physically or spiritually. If there is another word...comment below and I may decide to start using the correct one instead of my made-up jargon. Preggo brain is real, people): joy, hope, fear, anxiety, nausea, fatigue, dreams, realizations...the list goes on.

The one that stands out most is nausea. While I only had morning sickness a couple of times the nausea was unrelenting. From around 8 weeks until 12.5 weeks, the sick feeling plagued me. I was prescribed Zofran which causes constipation which, surprise surprise, causes nausea. I tried pickle juice, lemon heads, lemons, ginger tea, candied ginger, preggie pops, oyster crackers, saltine crackers, ginger ale... Women at work would look on my green self with pity, offering any old wives tale remedy that they could remember from their Great Aunt Roberta. Ackerman strived every day to make sure I had some sort of food that wouldn't make my stomach turn. Our poor baby was raised on bean burritos from Taco Bell that first trimester. Maybe we should rename her Lolita. He was my hero in those last weeks of the first trimester. Patient, understanding and most of all kind.

Fear was also a strong presence. At around eight weeks, we attended a friend's wedding. During the reception I went to use the facilities (peeing becomes a ritual) and I noticed some spotting. I felt numb. This isn't happening again. Not now. You can't have this one too. You can't. Ha. Like I could really tell God that He couldn't have a life He created. I calmly told Joseph and we left immediately, post-poning a trip to Myrtle Beach to see my family. I went home and laid on my left side, I covered my stomach with my hand to hold the baby in place and drank water. I prayed. So hard. Not this one. TMI ALERT: I called my midwife and she asked if we had had sex the night before and we had. That is what caused the spotting. The relief was so great. Selfishly, I had made up my mind before we knew we were pregnant that if I miscarried again that we weren't trying again. Little did I know that a few months later, one of my good friends would miscarry her second time and then a few months after that, she would miscarry for the third time. I've learned a lot about strength, faith and trust through her. 

These first few months went by so slowly like a five minute car ride when you were a child; never ending. I didn't want to get excited about baby. We got to see our little one at 6 weeks old, a little string bean with a heartbeat. Then the nausea came and the tiredness ensued and I lived the next five weeks in slow motion. I didn't want to plan a nursery or buy any clothes. We told those around us and that was it. I felt like I was holding my breath those months, I couldn't relax. I just wanted to wait and wait we did. 

But then it did end. The nausea lifted and the magic 12 weeks passed and I had hope that this baby would live. The world sighed and I sighed along with her. 

The second trimester has been a completely different experience and while I have had a few complications and have experienced the usually aches and pains that come a long with pregnancy, I feel amazing. But more on my second trimester later.

24 weeks pregnant and counting

Looking a little tired, but that's okay!

How far along? 24 Weeks

Total weight gain/loss: 8 pounds...Staying within the healthy weight!

Maternity clothes? Oh yeah, haven't broken into the sweatpants yet.

Stretch marks? I have a feeling they aren't going anywhere but luckily they aren't getting any darker.

Sleep: On and off. Gwendolyn is starting to build strength and is kicking a lot harder. She seems to like my bladder in particular!

Best moment this week: Hands down: Joseph feeling Gwendolyn kick for the first time! It was so exciting. It is hard for husbands as they can't feel the baby constantly. It made me feel like he is more connected.

Miss Anything? Being able to walk across the Horseshoe at USC without being winded. Also, eating normally. Sometimes I can't stop eating...other times I don't want to even think about food.

Movement: She is doing the hokey pokey in my tummy! Her peak hours are around 9:30, 2:30 and 9:30

Food cravings: Sweets still...especially cheesecake.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Chinese food still isn't happening.

Have you started to show yet: See the photo above! People are starting to comment that I am getting bigger! I am glad I am preggo because I definitely wouldn't take it as a compliment!

Gender: She is still a girl! As weeks go on, I get more and more excited about her being...well....a her. The bows! The lace! The frills! The prospect of her being the next prima ballerina!

Labor Signs: I cramp every once and a while. I think it is more of the long ligament cramps as it happens when I walk too quickly.

Belly Button in or out? In

Wedding rings on or off? Barely on. A few more weeks and I am sure my fingers will be too big.

Happy or Moody most of the time: I am getting into the wonderful part of pregnancy. I feel good, I am starting the nesting instinct, I feel closer to my husband...so the mood is great!

Things you love: I love the long nails and glossy hair. I love that my husband is extra sensitive to my needs. I dislike how people treat me like I am sick. No...I'm pregnant.

Looking forward to:  Her getting here! I get so excited about the birth process and being able to finally hold her. I hate to wish time away as pregnancy is such a short part of a woman's life (unless you are Michelle Duggar) but it is hard to think of her swimming around in my tummy and me not being able to see her face!

Head on over to The Art of Making Baby for your chance to win a Maxi Cosi Pria70 Convertible Car Seat. I mean...take a look at this thing!

I haven't done a great job at comparing carseats, strollers, cribs, etc...there are so many options, so many opinions...just too many and frankly, I trust the opinion of TAOMB. Go on now...

Write me a song...and a little rant

First a rant:

Lately I've been thinking a lot about the birth process. The pain, happiness, problems, successes, overwhelming love and everything in between.

I have been lucky to talk to a few strong, inspiring women who had natural births with out the use of pain medication (one even had to have Pitocin and birthed without meds...I don't know how she did it!)

 When I express my desire to have a natural childbirth, women look at me like I have a third eye. Their eyes get round and they exclaim one of many statements:

"You are crazy! You just wait, you will be screaming for pain medications!"

"Oh...well...good luck. IIIIIII (emphasis on the I) wouldn't do it."

"You can have a pain free birth...why not?"

But it is the one thing that they don't say that bothers me the most. It is their implication that I am ignorant and dumb for not taking the IV to my arm and shooting up with the "serum of the gods".

At first, I found myself making excuses for myself as to why I was choosing to forgo the big E (epidural). I blamed it on my fear of needles...which is true. But I then realized that my fear was not the only reason I was choosing to go natural. It's better for baby Gwen to not be pumped full of the medications that would make me comfortable, there is a greater risk of cesarean section when you are induced (and believe it or not, c-sections are major surgery) and most of all: God made my body to give birth, to work with baby Gwendolyn in a way that will never happen again and ultimately to bond with her.

Just a little statistic: in 1965, the national cesarean rate was 4.5% and  raised to 32.8% in 2010.

So this is where I state that I am not ashamed of my choice for a natural childbirth and I will no longer make excuses. Yes, I am aware that it is going to hurt and Cash's song, "Ring of Fire" will take on a new meaning for me. But this is an experience that I choose to have - to feel alive - to feel what it is like to bring a baby into this world and not fear it.

If you go for a medicated birth or have to have a c-section, more power to you.

Now, I am not going into this expecting everything to be peachy and easy. I know that I will probably go through the most pain I have ever been through before. I remember the pain I experienced when I miscarried with Lord Volde so I can only imagine that it will be exponentially worse.

I am also not going into the labor and delivery room thinking that the birth is going to go the way I want it. I know that sometimes c-sections are necessary but I also know that some doctors tend to push c-sections so they can make it to happy hour or can protect themselves from lawsuits. Not me, pal.

Second, the music:

One method I will use to ease the pains of labor (or at least take my mind away from it) is music. I have ready that you should have a soft, relaxing play list and a more upbeat play list for the times when you are pushing. I tend to rely more on soothing music when I am in pain so while I will make a play list of pumped up tunes, I will focus on the softer side.

Through the Floor – Edwin McCain

Fade Into You – Mazzy Star

Wild Horses - The Sundays

American Baby – Dave Matthews

Poison & Wine – The Civil Wars

How He Loves – David Crowder

Carolina in My Mind – James Taylor

Fill Me Up – United Pursuit

Running in Circles – United Pursuit

Color Blind – Counting Crows

Fire & Rain – James Taylor

The Funeral – Band of Horses

Tequila Makes Me Crazy – Kenny Chesney        

Fast Car – Tracey Chapman

Worth It All – Rita Springer

First Time Ever I Saw Your Face – Johnny Cash

#41 – Dave Matthews

Soon – Hillsong United

We Found Love – Rihanna

First Day Of My Life – Bright Eyes

Windows Are Rolled Down – Amos Lee

Your Song – Elton John

Gravity - Sara Bareilles

Can’t Help Falling In Love – Ingrid Michaelson

I Have to Believe - Rita Springer

Ho Hey – Lumineers

Gotta Have You – The Weepies

Part One – Band of Horses  Viorar Vel Til Loftarasa – Sigur Ros I am sure that I will need many, many more songs (I will probably add the entire Civil Wars Album and some additional Edwin McCain songs...) So, that is my list thus far. Is there anything I should add or delete from the list?



Fives

Let me introduce you to Fives. His real name is Fievel (after the mouse in American Tale), but after a while his name was shorted to a simple "Fives" and then it was changed to "Sir Fives" when we knighted him with a sword that was sitting in our living room. So he is now, "Sir Fives" and I daresay he enjoys the title. We have had him since before we got married, when he was just a cute little kitten. He was innocent, with cute paws (that I endearingly call paw-paws).

Sorry for the bad quality photo

He is a relatively spoiled cat, enjoying paw-paw massages and belly rubs. I mean...look at those paws! They are so cute! He also enjoys sleeping upside down in your lap. He is a talker and will let you know when he is hungry or if he just needs to be petted.

Which is always.

Much to his chagrin, we dyed his paws pink and blue for Easter. Don't worry it was vinegar and water!

Ackerman and Fives have a love/hate relationship...mostly hate. Joseph abhors the snootiness of cats and the way they look at him with a smug, all-knowing glare. But every once-in-a-while, you will catch him petting Fives (usually at my direction).

Fives getting up-close and personal

While I adore Fievel (and my husband), the cat has a tendency of waking up at 6:00 am, coming to our door and meowing. Sometimes, if we stay quiet, he will go away for about three minutes and then come back and meow some more until Joseph or I (usually Joseph) gets up to let him outside.

For the past few days I have had a new alarm clock and it is not one that I like.

I will leave you with a photo of our puppy Simcoe (named after one of my husband's favorite hops)...though he is not much of a puppy anymore!

The One About Crying

Declining temperatures always brings more than coats and scarves. Along with cooler weather comes changing leaves and the promise of bonfires and s'mores. Apple cider (sans alcohol for us preggos which is sad as our good friend makes the most delicious apple pie moonshine), leggings and long sweaters, sweatshirts dug out from our high school and college days, slightly tattered but too comfortable and nostalgic to throw away. Pumpkins with funny faces and corn field mazes. Snuggling a little closer to those we love. Front porch, hot coffee mornings with dog-eared pages of your favorite classic.

And also, Fall cleaning. No one ever talks about fall cleaning. It is always, "spring cleaning this" and "spring cleaning that". What about fall?

Ackerman and I began our Fall cleaning yesterday, which mainly consisted of purging our 6 bookcases of duplicates and books we would never (and have no desire to) read, organizing the back room as it had been taken over by beer aliens, shuffling through papers that should have been filed long ago (W-2s from 2004 anyone?) and high school/college binders.

Fall cleaning while pregnant is a challenge. First, sitting on the floor does a number on your hips. I would waddle for a good minute, hunched over before I could stand up and walk straight. My husband (and my mom via telephone) were adament about me not picking up anything heavier than a pencil and then there are the emotions.

When you are pregnant, you cry. over. everything. Even if you are crying over nothing, the emotion that is welled up inside feels like you have lost a loved one. This has made me come to the conclusion that hormones are a pregnant woman's worst enemy. They make you sick in the first trimester and then uber emotional during the remainder.

Here are a few examples of meltdowns that I had. Note: this was just yesterday and happened within a 2-hour span.

Example 1:

We had some black mold issues in the nursery and had the mold professionally removed. Since then, I have not walked into the nursery. Yesterday, upon opening the door and stepping into the room, my face became instantly wet. Last time I checked, there wasn't a hole in the roof so yes, I must be crying. Over what you ask? I'm not quite sure. The realization of having a baby girl, knowing that this is where she will spend her first years...where WE will spend our first months getting to know each other. Maybe I was shedding tears over all of the work I have to do: tearing up carpet, pulling up carpet nails, refinishing the hardwood floor, putting down toe-molding, painting, etc...well who am I kidding? Most of the work will be done by Ackerman, but I am the one who makes lists and worries about it.

Example 2:

While rummaging through photos, I found one of my grandfather and me. He enjoying what was probably a Bud heavy and me enjoying a margarita. Why that photo made me cry, I am not sure. Was it that I miss him? Was it the memory of sharing in my first alcoholic beverage with him? (Well one of the first...) Or was it that I just plain miss tequila?

Example 3:

I came across a letter while filing that was written from Ackerman's friend Speegs while he was in basic. He wrote to Ackerman detailing life in the Navy. There was nothing sad about the letter. It just made me cry.

I will also note: it seems like once something makes you cry, it is hard to snap out of the funk. The rest of your day is on the brink of tears. Heaven forbid someone look at me the wrong way or I see one of those Sarah McLaughlin animal commercials...those puppy eyes get me every time!

The week of 21.

So yesterday, I turned 21 weeks and my sister turned 21 a couple of weeks ago but we are actually celebrating this weekend...so it is the week of 21!
I learned that the baby is the size of a pomegranate (which I must tell you I LOVE pomegranates.) Next week she will be a papaya and I don't like papayas, but that's okay.

She is well on her way to being a foot long (10.5 inches) and just imagining her growing is such an amazing experience.

I have started to refer to her as "My Little Mermaid" and she is constantly swimming around and bumping into my innards. Her real name is Gwendolyn Raye. Two names that are very special to both Joseph and I. Gwendolyn was my Mom's mom's name (my grandmother) and she passed away in 1993 from lung cancer. She was always such a driving force in my life.

Raye comes from both my Mom's Dad's name and Joseph's Dad's Dad's name (our grandfathers). My grandfather passed away right before Joseph and I met in 2009. I felt very lucky to have spent the many years I did with him. He taught me to drive and always let me know that he loved me. Joseph's grandpa, known as "Pop" died last year and I feel completely honored to have known him. He always let me know how glad he was to have me in their family. I took to him as I would my own grandfather and he came in my life at a time when I had just lost mine. The spelling of "Raye" comes from Joseph's maternal side of the family where many of the girls have the last name, "Daye" so it works.

Grandpa Pressley and I...yes I am adorable.



Pop and Nonny at a Clemson game

Unfortunately, I don' t have a photo of my grandma (aka Nana) on the computer, but once I get one, I will put it up.

On a different note, Joseph and I went and registered at Buy Buy Baby (which I just found out you can use Bed, Bath and Beyond coupons at the Buy Buy Baby stores!) and Target. While it was fun, it was also exhausting. I am sure I forgot to add things and I am sure I added things that I don't need. Oh well.

How far along? 21 Weeks

Total weight gain/loss: 2 lbs gained so far (gained 4 but lost 2)

Maternity clothes? All maternity and not ashamed.

Stretch marks? Yep, though they aren't getting any bigger/darker thanks to slathering myself with lotion on the daily.

Sleep: Sleep is getting better, though I can't wait to sleep on my back again. I registered for a Snoogle at Buy Buy Baby...hint hint.

Best moment this week: Feeling my Mermaid kick and squirm! It is such a sweet thing!

Miss Anything? The same things...sushi. Beer. Port wine. A margarita or two...or three.

Movement: The Mermaid is on the move! I am starting to see my stomach move a little

Food cravings: Sushi. Sweets.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Still not digging Chinese food...

Have you started to show yet: See the photo above! My midwife said that I am carrying more inside so who knows how big I'll get.

Gender: She is still a girl!

Labor Signs: Not a one!

Belly Button in or out? In

Wedding rings on or off? I'm mostly wearing my wedding band and have put my engagement ring aside. Though, I got agitated one day because someone told Joseph that he needed to get me a bigger ring...because I only had my wedding band on. Really? Because the size of your diamond really measures your marriage.

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy most of the time. I had a cry-fest one day, over nothing really and I've had one (or two) hormonal outbursts...I am trying to keep those to a minimum.

Looking forward to:  Seeing little Gwen next week for my second ultrasound! I also can't wait until Joseph can fell her swimming around.